Tea for two?

The friendship began January 9th  after we got 7 1/2″ of snow.  I was out trying to shovel a path to the stairs when I noticed a mockingbird in the tree right off the deck watching me.   I went inside to retrieve a cracker to break up and also a  few seeds, although I know their diet usually doesn’t consist of much seed-type food, but it was all I had.  She gratefully came down onto the deck rail and took a few bites of cracker and a couple seeds.  That night I baked an apple pie and took a small piece with crust out to her in the morning.  Much more to her liking.

Since then she has come to hop on the rail several times a day when I am out there.  She does love raisins!  I have a 36″ formed pond between the deck walkway and the house.  One morning when it was frozen, she hopped down from eating her pie to peck at the ice and looked up at me so I would know she couldn’t get a drink.  She flew back up on the rail to watch me as I took a hammer and made a hole, then lay chicken wire and a branch over it so she could safely drink.  As soon as I was finished, she flew back down to quench her thirst.  I was amazed how easily she could communicate her needs to me.

The photos are from this morning.  The past two days she has decided she would like to share my tea and now eats out of my hand.   The trust leaves me humbled.

 

Mindset is all it is

Some event must have triggered a response in my mind – an outlook that has eluded me for eleven long months.  I can attempt to justify this by serious problems that already existed or ones that arose in short order.  But by getting caught up in negativity and “don’t haves” I have been missing  something so huge, so all encompassing, so monumental – right there all this time, yet mindset of my own doing allowed me to overlook the obvious.

I am living a life of abundance!  I already am!  How could I have been so blind since last December when I moved here?  How did I allow negativity to swallow whole all the positive that has come to me?   Here I am, already IN abundance, while my poor tired brain and body are still striving , stressing, longing, wearying to attain something I already have.

I have been blessed so many times over.  The struggles, fears, hurts of the past several years are over and I have been rewarded, yet I failed to see this as I stressed over each and every problem and made them into mountains too high to climb.  I have been found, yet I envisioned myself as still lost and adrift with no lifeline to cling to.

I have the dearest friend anyone in the world could hope to have.  I moved into the unknown, yet have a nice little house with the kindest neighbors one could wish for.  I have spent the months in a struggle with myself, feeling useless in this world instead of enjoying the fruits of my labors of a lifetime.  I have all I need!  If I am not at present saving the world, or at least a person or two in it – it is because this is a time of making my own little nest, a time to pause and reflect, a time to enjoy the many wonderful things the universe has given me.

I have a good roof over my head,  I have enough to eat,  I have many lovely things in my little home,  I have two hands to make it beautiful to my eyes,  I have children who call, neighbors who care, a friend who is there for me each step of the way, books to read,  a computer to stay in touch with the world, my four beautiful cats to keep me company, a car to go  the places I need to go.

I have allowed the loss of those no longer in my life, past problems and hurts, the fear of “not enough”,  the worries of lack of monetary safety,  life lessons which have happened and are past yet cause anxiety and hurt each time they spring to consciousness, yes, I have allowed these things to blossom into a magnificence that overrides all the good in my present.

I am living a life of abundance.  And knowing this is a choice.  I can choose the mindset of focusing on things I don’t have…or I can choose to revel in the wonderful things that I do have.  Gratitude for the abundance in my life.  abundance22

 

 

This is home

Yesterday marked two months in my new home, and it has been both the best of times and worst of times.  There were lies, I was taken advantage of and many, many things were glossed over.  Much of the past two months since I moved here has been spent with immediate temporary measures which entailed cardboard, duct tape and hot glue.  I do need to formulate a list of repairs and needs according to importance, but have hesitated to do so as there is so much and my income is too small to meet such overwhelming problems.   

The fireplace runs water mixed with black soot each time it rains.  A heavy rain also floods the side yard up under one side of the deck and over half of the front sidewalk.  I placed a thermometer inside the kitchen and bathroom cupboards where the temperature inside those fluctuates between 48 and 51 degrees.  Large openings under the sink cabinet and also the side cabinets in the kitchen appear to open up to the dirt in the crawl space and have now been blocked off with cardboard and duct tape.  The place where I had my desk in the dining room was against the wall next to the bathroom sink cupboard and the temperature there was 51 degrees, so I moved the desk and computer into the living room at least temporarily.   As the heating system was changed here and put into the ceiling, there is no heat under the house and the floors are very cold.  I must keep shoes, boots or heavy slippers on all the time.   The door in the kitchen which goes out to the back porch developed a twenty inch crack that sunlight could be seen through.  I patched that with wood putty and paint.  The next morning, another twenty inch crack opened up on the other side of the same door.  That one has been temporarily covered with white duct tape.  The front door had no weather stripping on the latch side and a steady stream of frigid breeze blew in until I ran to the hardware store and got materials to fix that.  There was only cold water in the shower, so a plumber was called to fix that problem.  The sinks in the kitchen still leak, but as soon as funds are available, the plumber will be back. The kitchen window sill had a crack all the way around it to inside the walls and I had to hot glue foot upon foot of edge it to stop the steady influx of tiny ants. 

I offered full price for this “move in ready” house as well as paid $1000 extra to have a new washer, dryer and refrigerator put in.  I was told at the time that when the offer was accepted that I would be able to choose the appliances.   Instead, two days after the owners agreed to the price, the appliances were already here and hooked up.  They are all “scratch and dent”.  The refrigerator had what appeared to be ketchup stains and also onion skins and shriveled garlic inside.   The washing machine is one of the lowest rated that can be bought and does not work well at all.  Yet, I am now “stuck” with it, as I cannot afford another. 

The inspector I PAID FOR, among myriad things wrong that he did NOT find,  listed this house as having propane heat, so I purchased electric logs for the fireplace to help offset the heating bill.  However, upon moving in, I find it has electric heat and also the logs cannot be used as the fireplace leaks so badly. 

I just found out recently that this house had been empty for quite some time, so the neighbor’s dogs had used this yard instead of their own for a toilet and continue to do so.

Fot all these problems, and others I have forgotten at this moment, I do like the house.  Praying for an early spring as I am tired of being cold all the time.  It does get old wearing two sweaters and heavy socks and shoes inside all the time.

But after 6 long years, I have a bed to sleep in.   I have a kitchen of my own once again to cook in.  I can get up when I wish and take a nap if I so desire. No more trudging up and down to the barn in snow,sleet and rain three times a day to feed my cats.   I no longer have to feel like a burden in someone else’s home.   And these are good things, very good things.  I am not ungrateful for this house, just disappointed there are so many repairs to be made, many of which I cannot do myself. 

Once again, I would like to say thank you to anyone and everyone who helped in any way to make this home for me possible.  And to those who continue to help while I attempt to remedy some of the problems here.

The sun is rising and shining in the dining room window.  What a beautiful sight!  Time to go work on today’s projects.  setting up new home 042

Making a house a home

Making a house a home…

Finally, after more than 6 years of sleeping at the homes of others, on the floor, my new home will close today.  I am moving 175 miles from my children,  but I so needed a place to call home – to sleep once again in a bed, to hang my clothes instead of having them folded in my car trunk, to have a place to work on crafts, cook my meals and have cupboards and a refrigerator to put my food in.  Things most people take for granted….things I have longed for for years.

I have a nice bed given to me by my oldest daughter and her husband, and also a lovely dining room table and chairs purchased for me by my dear friend in Florida. I am so grateful, as every expense with this house has gone way over estimates and I have no funds to buy anything else for the house. As I will be living on less than $800 a month it won’t be easy to get any more  furniture.  I have no sofa, no ladder, no footstool or end tables, no bookcases or display stands, no desk chair, no lawn mower or weed eater, no trash can,  not even a clock.

My children have cautioned me against finding things on craigslist or yard sales and having strangers deliver things to the house. I only have a small car and will not be able to transport much myself.

I have created a wish list and posted the link here. If anyone would care to help me make my new house a home, I would be ever so grateful.

Yesterday I turned 65.   I would love a lot of birthday wishes in the comments here!

For those who have helped to make this possible, my heart to you. I will never forget your kindness to me.

For those who have the means and care to help with anything on this list, sincere gratitude and a big heart hug.

 

https://www.walmart.com/lists/view-wish-list-items?id=6d79ef19-0538-40bc-bfaf-8fe4e8ed2372

 

Also, I have no sofa and will have to get some cleaning supplies and some

pleasant1
My new home

food. If you would like to contribute a bit to those needs, my paypal is lifein thelostlane@yahoo.com

Wishing you all a joyous holiday season.

Debi

Making a house a home…

Finally, after more than 6 years of sleeping at the homes of others, on the floor, my new home will close today.  I am moving 175 miles from my children,  but I so needed a place to call home – to sleep once again in a bed, to hang my clothes instead of having them folded in my car trunk, to have a place to work on crafts, cook my meals and have cupboards and a refrigerator to put my food in.  Things most people take for granted….things I have longed for for years.

I have a nice bed given to me by my oldest daughter and her husband, and also a lovely dining room table and chairs purchased for me by my dear friend in Florida. I am so grateful, as every expense with this house has gone way over estimates and I have no funds to buy anything else for the house. As I will be living on less than $800 a month it won’t be easy to get any more  furniture.  I have no sofa, no ladder, no footstool or end tables, no bookcases or display stands, no desk chair, no trash can,  not even a clock.

My children have cautioned me against finding things on craigslist or yard sales and having strangers deliver things to the house. I only have a small car and will not be able to transport much myself.

I have created a wish list and posted the link here. If anyone would care to help me make my new house a home, I would be ever so grateful.

Yesterday I turned 65.   I would love a lot of birthday wishes in the comments here!

For those who have helped to make this possible, my heart to you. I will never forget your kindness to me.

For those who have the means and care to help with anything on this list, sincere gratitude and a big heart hug.

 

https://www.walmart.com/lists/view-wish-list-items?id=6d79ef19-0538-40bc-bfaf-8fe4e8ed2372

 

Also, I have no sofa and will have to get some cleaning supplies and some

pleasant1
My new home

food. If you would like to contribute a bit to those needs, my paypal is —–lifeinthelostlane(at) yahoo.com

Wishing you all a joyous holiday season.

Debi

Closing day to go by without me…

I just found out today that there will be no closing on the 23rd.  Everything is moving at a snail’s pace, and I was on the phone and e-mailing from 9 this morning until after 3 this afternoon, attempting to push the snail into something like visible movement.

Was asked if the inspector had returned to the property for final inspection. He did that before we moved my things down on the 7th, but it appears he failed to send the new report to rural housing.  So I had to get in touch with my realtor and ask her to contact him and get that emailed immediately to Robin.

The second water report came in today, it passed this time after the well was shocked.  This is a very good thing, as I called the utility company first thing this morning and was told it would cost $1001 for public water meter and cap PLUS the cost of a plumber to run pipe from the house out to the cap.  Now that will not have to be done at this time, although I intend to put a water purifier on the kitchen sink so as to be sure the water is of good quality for cooking and drinking. Now that new report needs to get to Robin.

The next hurdle was finding a NEW closing agent, as the one I had hired to do the closing is undergoing office changes Dec. 1st and will no longer be doing the research and records for closings.  So more calls, and that is now settled.  Had to call Robin back at rural housing to report the changes.

Tomorrow morning I will call the survey company and beg them to finish that and email the report to Robin by Monday or Tuesday next week.  Immediately after that morning call, I need to drive to Valerie’s office and sign the paperwork for the grant to help with down payment and closing costs.  Then those forms need to be emailed right to Robin.  Then back here to send the names, addresses, and titles of all  who are working on this to the new title company.  As well as all my information and that of the property.

The only utility company I have the name for is the company that supplies electric to the property.  I also called them today, to ascertain the amount needed for a deposit to get service in my name.  Because I have had no electric bill in my name in the past year, I will need to pay a deposit of $200 to get service right after closing.  I still have no idea who provides home phone and internet there, although I have asked repeatedly.  As soon as I get these more pressing issues settled, I will try again.

Also had to make calls to medicare and social security today to once again attempt to get “government chosen” medicare programs removed as I cannot afford the things they added.  I sent a registered letter with return receipt attached on November 5th, but the signed card showing someone signed for it has not returned.  The person I spoke with today told me any changes I wish will take 30 to 60 days, and in the meantime they will be removing the funds from my social security check.  I get under $800 a month now.  This is very upsetting news, as I will have the house loan, electric, plus phone and internet to pay with over $100 less a month until they get it straightened out.  I cannot authorize any changes over the phone or online.  It has to be done in a letter.  Since I have not received the card back, I will write once again and send the letter out tomorrow as insurance they will get ONE of them. 

Most of this should have already been done, these were not things on the list given me for me to do.  But it appears no one else is concerned with getting anything emailed back, which I am payisnailpaceng them all to do. Snails are not easy to push, but I am trying.  Hopefully this house can close the first week of December.  I am tired, depressed and half crazy, but press onward…

 

 

 

 

 

Home or no home, that is the question

It is one week to closing date on the house, but I fear that may not happen.  The water did not pass the testing.  The well was shocked and another testing done, but results are not back yet.  Until we receive a clear water report, I cannot order the property survey.

We loaded the truck and went last Saturday (the 7th) with all my worldly possessions.  My oldest daughter and her husband (he drove the moving truck), their son who is 16,  my son and his lady friend and also my youngest daughter and her friend.  First time to see the house.  The truck was unloaded quickly with all the help and then everyone quickly checked out the house as we had little time to get the truck back and drive part of the 220 miles back, hopefully at least halfway before dark.

It appears the inspector missed many things that were wrong, so as these things were not on the report, and the owners did have the reported problems repaired, there is no recourse for the faulty items left behind other than for me to have them done after closing.

Sinks in the kitchen leak at the drains (both sides), the shut-off valves under the sink spin around and around and are useless.  Deck railings are wobbly and need braces so no one leans against them and falls.  The heating is in the ceiling.  The door to the filter is also in the ceiling, but was painted shut.  I will have to get up on a ladder and feel for the latches and get a screwdriver under them to open it.  The sink and toilet are stained orange.  The deck and yard are covered with old shingles, deck nails, beer bottle caps, etc. from when the roof was replaced. The propane tank is completely empty and no heat can be turned on in the house.  A few more minor things…

The worst was the water.  My oldest daughter, Alyssa and I turned on the water in the tub.  It came out bright orange and after 10 or 15 minutes had not cleared up.  The hot water tank should have been drained and refilled, but that was not on the inspector’s report either.  The inspector assures me that the water was fine and sinks not leaking when he did the inspection.  ??????

I find out the next day that the water did not pass testing. Also, when I asked about the heating, I am NOW told that it is not propane, but electric.  So I still do not know what type of heat the home has as each time I ask I am told something different. 

I understand no house is perfect, especially at what I can afford.  However, I DID expect usable heat and water.  And sink drains that work. 

All my things are now in a house almost 200 miles away, a house I do not know, at this point, that I am even going to be able to buy.  The joy I have waited 6 years to feel at finally having a home, a bed, has been diluted.  I am so worried…..bad-water