Some event must have triggered a response in my mind – an outlook that has eluded me for eleven long months. I can attempt to justify this by serious problems that already existed or ones that arose in short order. But by getting caught up in negativity and “don’t haves” I have been missing something so huge, so all encompassing, so monumental – right there all this time, yet mindset of my own doing allowed me to overlook the obvious.
I am living a life of abundance! I already am! How could I have been so blind since last December when I moved here? How did I allow negativity to swallow whole all the positive that has come to me? Here I am, already IN abundance, while my poor tired brain and body are still striving , stressing, longing, wearying to attain something I already have.
I have been blessed so many times over. The struggles, fears, hurts of the past several years are over and I have been rewarded, yet I failed to see this as I stressed over each and every problem and made them into mountains too high to climb. I have been found, yet I envisioned myself as still lost and adrift with no lifeline to cling to.
I have the dearest friend anyone in the world could hope to have. I moved into the unknown, yet have a nice little house with the kindest neighbors one could wish for. I have spent the months in a struggle with myself, feeling useless in this world instead of enjoying the fruits of my labors of a lifetime. I have all I need! If I am not at present saving the world, or at least a person or two in it – it is because this is a time of making my own little nest, a time to pause and reflect, a time to enjoy the many wonderful things the universe has given me.
I have a good roof over my head, I have enough to eat, I have many lovely things in my little home, I have two hands to make it beautiful to my eyes, I have children who call, neighbors who care, a friend who is there for me each step of the way, books to read, a computer to stay in touch with the world, my four beautiful cats to keep me company, a car to go the places I need to go.
I have allowed the loss of those no longer in my life, past problems and hurts, the fear of “not enough”, the worries of lack of monetary safety, life lessons which have happened and are past yet cause anxiety and hurt each time they spring to consciousness, yes, I have allowed these things to blossom into a magnificence that overrides all the good in my present.
I am living a life of abundance. And knowing this is a choice. I can choose the mindset of focusing on things I don’t have…or I can choose to revel in the wonderful things that I do have. Gratitude for the abundance in my life.