I went down to stay with my grandkids last week one day while my daughter worked a day shift. The older kids were giving 8 year old Gavin a rather hard time that day, and when it came time for me to leave, Gavin gave me a big hug and asked “Grandma, can I come stay with you tonight?” Yes was on the tip of my tongue, and reality returned. My heart broke as I had to tell him I was sorry, and as soon as Grandma has a house he can come stay overnight.
Things most take for granted I cannot do. I have no place for any of my grandchildren to come spend a night, nowhere to make cookies for them, no home to invite anyone to. I cannot make holiday dinners and have my family come.
Five years, it has been five long years with no home of my own. No bedroom, no private space, no closet.
I feel as though I have been up in an airplane, circling, circling, but unable to land. My life seems to be “on hold”. How much longer can this go on, how many more days, weeks, years will I have no little place to call home?
A property that would have been perfect for me (and my youngest daughter along with our animal family) came up about 2 weeks ago. It was just over an acre and already fenced with beautiful board fencing on 3 sides as the property on both sides and in back is owned by a huge horse ranch. An outbuilding for Meg’s horse, Valentine. Appraised value set at $95,000, it was a foreclosure and the price had just been dropped to $34,900. Bank owned, it needed a few minor repairs, but my FHA mortgage would not accept it. I would have gone to a local bank there if I had had enough for 20% down to see if they would give me a loan for it. But 20% down would have been $7,000 and I would have needed about $2,800 for closing costs. A total of $9,800. I have only $5,000. The house sold in 2 days.
It is difficult to not be depressed. It is not easy to smile in the face of adversity when it continues year after year. It hurts to see nice properties that you see and think “oh, I would love to live there, it looks like Home” go to someone else and you fall just short of having the means to purchase it. I just don’t know how to change this situation. I hurt.